I couldn't find anyone better to share this conversation with. Hopefully you guys understand my humor.
Some background information: This guy is a total douche, believe me. He had lost custody of my girlfriend at a young age. He's done horrible things and suddenly wants to act like a dad out of nowhere. If you didn't know either of the people in the conversation you'd think I was the douche here. But I'm not. I have a reason to talk to this fag the way I do.
Oh and, I started dating my girlfriend when she was 17, but she's 18 now and he still can't get over it. Today he came to my house yelling threatening to call the cops. (He'd be doing me a favor, because all they would do would be to make him leave my property) Later that day he sends me the first text.
They aren't typos btw, copy paste.
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Gf's dad: Let her sleep she has to work at 5:30 am
Me: SHHHH
Gf's dad: You shhhhh little Bitch
Me: SHHHHHHHHHHHH
Me: Let's take a moment of silence
Gf's dad: Shut the fuck up let her sleep you stupid Asshole she needs her sleep she was at your fucking house for two days without her son so let her sleep now Asshole
Me: You still love me :'D
Me: Give me a peck
Gf's dad: No Asshole
Me: Just a peck!!
Gf's dad: Go suck your Boyfriend's Dick you fag
Me: I already have. Jelly?
Me: I know you want some of this big boy.
Gf's dad: Jose is waiting for you. You fag
(Jose is a friend who's always over at my house)
Me: Lmao. Jose isn't as nice as I am. I wouldn't talk to him if I were you.
Me: Fortunately for you, I am very nice!!!:)
Me: You want to steal Jose from me? Wow I didn't know you rolled that way.
Me: WOW I AINT INTO THAT STUFF BRO.
Gf's dad: So fucking what you your suppose to be nice i don't give a flying fuck about you and your stupid ass bullshit okay Dumbass so go fuck yourself ok
Me: Why am I SUPPOSED to be nice?
Gf's dad: And i prefer ladies not fags ok so shut the fuck up Asshole
Me: Are you sure you wouldn't like to be penetrated?
Me: Because if you do I can arrange that for you. I have a few friends on the gay side if you know what i mean
Me: Or would you prefer to have a woman with a strap on to thrust her plastic addon inside of you?
Me: Am I turning you on?
Gf's dad: That's what your dumb ass said that you are nice and Jose is not dumb fuck read your text stupid
Me: It's just that your text wasn't in English so I wasn't sure what you meant.
Gf's dad: No but if you want to be able to keep seeing my daughter you need to just shut your fucking mouth ok you little Bitch because i am very tired of your stupid ass bullshit don't male me do some thing you'll regret all I have to do is talk to a judge and you won't be able to be close to her at all ok
Me: OOooO. Go ahead big boy.
Me: I'm so scared!!
Me: Like really bro, I'm terrified of you:(!!
Me: That was me kidding if you weren't able to tell.
Me: I hope the judge isn't a homo like you so that you won't persuade him..if you know what i mean c;
Gf's dad: You Know what go fuck yourself or one of your family members like all Mexicans do good night Bitch maybe your mom is waiting for you
Me: Did you just claim that Mexicans fuck each other? LMFAO. OMG that is the funniest thing you've ever said lmao.
Me: I didn't know you had jokes
Gf's dad: Well your moms waiting for you
Gf's dad: Or may be with your sister because we all know your into minors
Me: At least someone is waiting for me. . .
Me: You on the other hand #FOREVER ALONE
Me: Don't worry though, I will hook you up with one of my fellow dudes.
Me: You missed texting me, didn't you?
Gf's dad: So what if I'm single not everyone is like you and into minors asshole
Gf's dad: Or a fag like you Bitch
Me: What are you into? Animals?
Me: You like to grape them dogs huh?
Me: Ew, that's gross bro.
Gf's dad: She's only going to have three hours of sleep if you stop texting her now you fucking jerk think of her asshole stop thinking about yourself dumb fuck
Me: I care about your sleep more big boy. Go get some rest. Hibernation.
Gf's dad: That's your family bitch that's why yo have so many dogs and I don't right Bitch
Gf's dad: Go fuck your mom Bitch
Me: I have that many dogs to keep fat Americans like you away. Because you might eat me.
Gf's dad: You know what fuck you. Just because your moms a hoe and likes white men don't mean shit son if you don't like Americans take your wetback ass back to mexico then so your gay ass can be happy ok fag
Me: I love Americans though! Just not the overweight ones. How about you and I go to Mexico and we can joina gym?
Me: Looks like I just found a weak spot. You don't like being fat. It's okay. First step is realizing you're a fat motherfucker
Me: Okay lmao. I'm done being a douchebag. What do you say we call it a night?
Gf's dad: Yeah you Know what son i Might have made all your mom's dreams come true because your just a dumb ass and that's fine your mom did not know she gave birth to a pedophile I'm pretty sure if she did she would have terminated the pregnancy and you would not be here now right so yeah i do feel so sorry for your mom that she has a Piece of shit like you for a son I felt your moms pain when we talked while waiting for you and my Daughter Jennifer to come out of your room I know how she feels because I feel sorry for Jennifer she likes you and your a gay pedophile and she has a son she can't even take around you because she would not be able to trust you around him man your one sick piece of shit
Me: You're so very mad!!
Me: It took you 25 minutes to think of a comeback.
Gf's dad: No your j ust very dumb
Me: But anyways, that's a good one man. You got me right in the gut with that one. I am so insulted.
Me: Let's call it a night?
!
Me: No you're just very dumb. ****
Gf's dad: 15 minutes learn to count dummy
Me: That was a obvious exaggeration to let you know that you took forever to text back. And I miss texting you when you take that long.
Gf's dad: That's why I can count and you can't. 1:05 to 1:20 is 15 minutes dummy
Me: Really? I didn't know that! Thanks teacher!:)
Gf's dad: FUCK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT DUMMY
Me: No I don't want you to fuck me gay boy.
Me: But goodnight
Gf's dad: Like I said you are a dumb shit you fag always thinking about a man inside of you gay boy you always will be gay pore little fag
Me: You're the one who wants to do dirty shit to me!
Gf's dad: Nope unless by dirty you mean bury you that sounds fun let me call the morgue for you because I'm not gay like you ok DUMMY GO TO SLEEP FAG GOOD NIGHT
Me: Tuck me into bed?
Gf's dad: That's your mom and dads job so sorry Bitch
Me: I like how you capitalize your bad words. It really adds some intensity to the insult. Definitely have me scared D:!
Gf's dad: Why you scared for you a pussy to not just a fag now I really feel sorry for your parents
Me: Yeah, they have it rough.
Me: Alright man I'm running out of shit to say lmao. Let's call it a night.
Gf's dad: Good night then
